


passing over the thousandth night

by LunaDarkside



Category: Bleach
Genre: Fluff, M/M, somewhat pointless
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 00:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1707815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunaDarkside/pseuds/LunaDarkside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Byakuya inquires as to why Renji has been frequenting his mansion at night. The explanation is... unexpected, to say the least.</p>
            </blockquote>





	passing over the thousandth night

Renji shrugs out of his kosode and shitagi, chest heaving as he reaches for a towel. It's cool and dark in his quarters, thankfully so.

He swipes the towel over his damp, overheated skin and breathes out, long and slow, one last time. It's been too long since he's been back here. Too many long nights with Rukia, probably... He wonders how she found out about his attraction. And why she was so willing to give him a hand with it.

There's a polite, restrained knock behind him, and Renji whirls, his reflexes still on edge from the training session he's just gone through with the sixth's seventh and eighth seats. He winces as a few of his larger cuts sting in protest. Despite their low seatings, the two of them combined were more than enough to land a good number of solid hits. It's good, though, that the officers are strong, considering the number of strong enemies Soul Society has been facing recently.

All thoughts of the winter war and the Quincies disappear, however, when Renji actually sees who  
's standing in the doorway to his room. Well, they leave along with all ability to form coherent thoughts in general as well, really.

Kuchiki Byakuya stands there, cutting a figure about a million and five kinds of regal against the midday light. His face (porcelain skin and pink silk lips and slate gray irises) is carefully controlled, the facade crafted so neatly that Renji can't see a whisper of emotion. His haori stirs slightly as he lifts his chin calmly. "Am I interrupting anything?"

God, his voice is like perfection in a sound. Renji suddenly feels so very, very naked, and not just because he's only clad in his hakama. 

He coughs, instantly hating the rough sound. It contrasts far too sharply with his captain's voice.

"Uh, no, sir," he says anyway, and Byakuya nods.

"Are you going to invite me in, or shall I intrude?"

As if he'd be an intrusion. Words like  _intrusion_  or  _unwanted_  or  _stray_  never apply to men like Kuchiki Byakuya. Renji knows that better than anyone.

But aloud Renji just offers a gruff, "No, sir. Would you like to come in, sir?"

"I would indeed," Byakuya agrees, and there's just a touch of amusement in his voice as he crosses the threshold and enters.

Seeing his captain pick his way through Renji's belongings, Renji is suddenly struck with belated confusion. Why is Byakuya here, again?

He voices this right as Byakuya slides to a graceful halt a meter or two away. "Um, please excuse me for asking, sir, but why are you here?"

Heather gray eyes snap to his. There's a curl of lips, a sardonic little lilt of eyelashes. Everything about Byakuya reads  _mocking_  in huge block letters. "Am I not allowed to come visit my lieutenant?"

Renji just shakes his head. "No, sir. That's not what I meant, sir," he replies. Quietly. As any loyal dog should. He's a whole lot of kinds of pathetic, he thinks emotionlessly.

Byakuya regards him carefully. "I see," he says finally. Renji doesn't really know what there is to see, but he doesn't comment on it. It's not as if Byakuya will explain if he does.

His captain eyes him for a heartstopping second longer before he seems to relax. Well, relax as much as Kuchiki Byakuya ever does - a subtle loosening of lips, a loss of tension around his eyes. "To be honest, Abarai, I am not here as your captain."

Renji blinks and stares. Then he opens his mouth. "Um, sir?"

"As such," Byakuya continues, as if not hearing, "you would do well to cease addressing me as 'sir.'"

Mouth shutting almost audibly, Renji just nods. His mind is racing. What's he done to warrant this? His pulse quickens. Oh, no. Has he figured out about Rukia and him -

"Abarai."

"Yes, s - I mean, uh..." Renji searches Byakuya's face for some kind of hint. As expected, none comes forth. "...Kuchiki-sama?"

There's a tiny flicker of something in his eyes when Byakuya makes a noncommittal sound that makes Renji's eyebrows lift in bewilderment.

But Byakuya doesn't outright protest, so Renji just sort of clears his throat awkwardly and shuffles, suddenly remembering the towel still draped across his hand. He sets it down hastily.

Byakuya's expression is even as he meets Renji's eyes. There's a pause, sort of like the world taking a breath before it explodes.

And explode it does.

"What do you think of me, Abarai?"

Feeling himself physically flinch before Byakuya even finishes the sentence, Renji gapes. "Uh, Kuchiki-sama..."

"We have been acquianted for many years now. We have fought face to face. We have fought side by side. Because of that, we are closer than many could ever be through words and gifts." Byakuya's eyes narrowed marginally. "But you cannot meet my eyes. You do not expect me to visit you. You hesitate to call me anything but 'sir.' You are completely restrained in my company." A soft exhale. "So I am asking you, Abarai - what do you think of me?"

Renji's breath catches in his throat before Byakuya is even finished speaking. He forces himself to swallow. "You're - you're my captain."  _My inspiration, my idol._   _Everything I aspire to be and more._

Byakuya's eyes cloud. "I understand." Before Renji can get in a word, he continues on. "As such, I understand your actions."

"My actions?"

"Abarai..." Unreadable gray eyes flicker with emotion for just a fleeting second, half a heartbeat, and then Byakuya blinks one time, slowly. He raises his face. "For some time, I have thought of you as a friend." 

Ignoring the expression of pure disbelief on Renji's face, Byakuya continues. "I believed you saw me as the same. But thank you for ridding me of my delusion. I understand now why you did not inform me of your relationship with Rukia."

Renji is wildly confused by the time Byakuya finishes saying  _as a friend_ , but then the rest of his captain's words catch up to him and he blanches. Shit, so this  _is_  about Rukia. He swears internally. "Uh, what... relationship?"

The gray eyes turn indifferent. "Abarai, I have seen you leaving my home in the morning many times now. Do not think you can persuade me that you are not in some kind of relationship with my sister." Byakuya lifts his face just a little. Never has he seened taller or more imposing than at this moment. "So tell me. What are your intentions regarding Rukia?"

"I -" Renji pauses. This is dangerous. How can he explain this without getting himself slashed to pieces? "I want... I want to continue our current relationship."

"Which is?" Byakuya prompts sharply.

"Uh..." Renji tries to think. Should he lie? Should he not?

Does it even matter at this point?

"Yes?" Byakuya raises his eyebrows in a way that means  _I'm waiting_  in several languages. Renji winces.

"Our... our friendship," Renji answers finally, his hands tightening into fists. Truth it was, then. He forces himself to meet those quietly burning eyes. "I intend to continue my friendship with Rukia."

He's surprised to see Byakuya's eyes widen. Surprised, but pleasantly so. Shock looks good on his captain.

"I... don't quite understand," Byakuya says after a beat of almost unnoticeable silence. He blinks a few too many times. "I was under the impression that you and my sister were engaged in an, ah, intimate relationship."

Intimate relationship. So Byakuya thought they were screwing. Renji snorts, not bothering to hold back his bitter amusement. "Oh, no, Kuchiki-sama. Nothing of the sort," he intones mirthlessly. As if she's the Kuchiki he wants. If only it were that simple.

The expression on Byakuya's face is beginning to resemble one of confusion. It's surreal. "Then why have you been frequenting our home at night?"

Renji shrugs evasively. Even if he's already cleared some of Byakuya's misconceptions, he doesn't think removing all of them will do either of them any good.

Because really, telling Byakuya that Renji realized he has feelings (warm, soft, fuzzy feelings) for him would not end well.

Rukia's been there every time Renji has broken into the Kuchiki estate while drunk, ever since the first time he came blaring past the security at one in the morning, spewing nonsensical poetry and generally waxing eloquent about the man of the house. She's been uncharacteristically nice to him, letting him grumble out his frustrations about his captain and even patting him on the back soothingly. It's so unlike her usual "If you want something, go get it, you fool" ideology that Renji suspects she knows her brother is unattainable.

Nevertheless, she's been an angel during those cold, long nights spent mumbling into blankets about ebony hair and alabastor skin. Renji adores her, but not in the way he wishes he could.

In the end, there's just something about the moon - the pale, beautiful, unreachable moon - that is captivating. Renji has long since come to terms with the fact that no matter how much he bows and scrapes and howls after the moon, it will never lower itself to his level, not even for a second. It's impossible in so many ways.

So when Byakuya actually bites his lip and takes a small, almost tentative step towards him, Renji is startled. And when Byakuya lets out a tiny sigh and his expression relaxes into a slight smile, he's completely taken aback.

"Good," the person who definitely can't be Byakuya, because  _relaxed_  and  _emotion_  and  _smiling_  never describe Byakuya, says. His gaze sweeps feather-light over Renji's face.

Renji is staring. He can't stop. "C-Captain..."

"Not Captain," Byakuya says softly. "Byakuya."

The fact that Kuchiki Byakuya is smiling and asking to be called by his first name is enough to render Renji momentarily speechless. He sputters for a second, flailing for words, before he finally manages to choke out, "Er, uh, Byakuya, why... why are you smiling?"

The noble just smiles - wait, that's a smirk - all the wider. Renji begins to feel lightheaded. The sight is all too breathtaking. "Am I not allowed to be happy that my sister and my friend do not engage in intimate activity?"

_Happy?_  Byakuya was capable of being  _happy?_  "Huh?"

Byakuya nods once, turning on his heel to breeze out of the room. But before he steps out, he sends one last dazzlingly unexpected smile over his shoulder at Renji.

"How many friends do you think I have?"

Renji stares. "What do you..." Exactly what Byakuya means, though, occurs to him suddenly, and his mouth drops open. Byakuya sees it happen and lifts his eyebrows.

"Think about how special you are, Abarai Renji."

Renji watches as Byakuya walks off, leaving the scent of jasmine tea and impossible possibilities, and thinks about how utterly  _whipped_  he is.

* * *

  


It's late, sometime past midnight, and Byakuya can't sleep.

He's sitting alone in his room, the screen doors open and allowing in a soft breeze. Byakuya brings the hand-crafted teacup to his lips, eyes focused on the calligraphy paper before him.

He freezes at the sound of slamming doors somewhere near the main entrance. The hand clutching the calligraphy brush stills, allowing ink to dot the paper in an unseemly pattern. Byakuya frowns, setting it down. Is that Renji's voice he hears...?

It's only been a few days since his talk with the lieutenant - a few days filled with silent refusal to meet Byakuya's eyes on Renji's part and wordless, emotionless confusion on Byakuya's. Byakuya tries to pretend he doesn't notice, but Renji's quiet, "Yes, sir," and "No, sir," attitude, even more pronounced than before their conversation, puzzles him. Especially when he sees how Renji talks with Kurosaki Ichigo, who came to Soul Society yesterday, and the way he jokes around with the other lieutenants. He's an inferno of energy and brightness with everyone else, but around Byakuya, he turns to candle flame, weak and shivering at the slightest touch.

But, if Byakuya is honest with himself, it's his own fault. He was the one who was presumptuous enough to think that Renji saw him - his captain, a noble, the man who took Rukia from him and tried to kill her - as a  _friend_. Just because Byakuya has come to respect him, has come to think of him as an equal, does not mean that Renji is under any obligation to do the same. It makes much more sense to assume that Renji despises him.

Byakuya sighs, allowing himself a self-deprecating little smirk. He feels pathetic.

He turns his attention to the door and wipes the expression clean off his face, though, when he hears a knock. A young girl, one of the staff, he assumes, cowers there. "Um, Kuchiki-sama, Lieutenant Abarai has come again tonight."

"I see," Byakuya says coolly. This same girl has informed him every night that Renji has come barreling into the estate. He wonders, briefly, if Renji realizes that the Kuchiki estate's security is not so lax as to allow someone with captain-class spiritual pressure onto the premises without Byakuya being informed. The only reason Byakuya had not brought the topic up with his lieutenant when it had first occurred was because Byakuya had been waiting for Renji to tell him personally.

Aloud, he tells her, "Allow Rukia to attend to him as usual." As the girl bows hurriedly and leaves, a thought occurs to him. Even during their talk, Renji never fully explained why he has been coming to the Kuchiki estate at night, seeing as he supposedly wasn't in some unsavory relationship with Rukia. And Byakuya had been too relieved to know Rukia's purity was intact and that Renji was not in a relationship to press the issue.

Why was -  _is_ , really, seeing as he still is - he glad that Renji is not in a relationship, again? That is not something he should care about, as long as it does not interfere with Renji's performance of his duties.

Byakuya is saved from his troubling thoughts when there's another knock at the door, this one far less polite and restrained than its predecessor a few moments ago. He raises his gaze from his finished character for pride, wearing his usual blank expression. It goes even blanker at the sight that awaits him.

Renji is there, flanked by Rukia and Kurosaki Ichigo (when did  _he_  arrive?). He's flushed and scowling and lashes out, trying to kick Kurosaki Ichigo when he realizes where they've led him. "Damn it, Ichigo! Rukia, what the hell?!"

Kurosaki Ichigo ignores him. "Yo, Byakuya!" he grins in a way that makes Byakuya's head hurt a little.

"Good evening, Kurosaki Ichigo," he answers dryly. "May I inquire as to why you are in my home?"

The man shakes his head, beaming. Byakuya feels a migraine beginning to start at the corners of his eyes.

With Kuchiki grace that makes Byakuya swell in pride, Rukia ignores the kicking, swearing, clearly drunk mess under her arm and drops into a somehow elegant curtsy. "Nii-sama," she says reverently.

Byakuya dips his head and motions for her to straighten. "Hello, Rukia. Is there any reason for this, ah... disturbance?" His gaze slides pointedly to Renji, who visibly flinches and averts his eyes.

Rukia smiles brightly. "You've been aware of Renji's visits ever since they started, right, Nii-sama?"

"Of course," replies Byakuya. He watches the color drain from Renji's face. "I was under the impression that the two of you were involved in a relationship until Abarai informed me of my misconception."

On Renji's left, Kurosaki Ichigo makes an unattractive sound. "As if you guys would ever do that kind of stuff."

Byakuya is saved from glaring when Rukia does it for him. "Fool! Nii-sama came to a very logical conclusion!"

The substitute soul reaper just shrugs. "Whatever you say, Rukia," he grumbles. "Even though it's  _so_  clear that he's not into short-haired midgets like you." His scowl suddenly morphs into a smile. "On the other hand,  _siblings_  of short-haired midgets are a completely different sto -"

Byakuya is amazed at how in sync Rukia and Renji's motions are as they simultaneously smack Kurosaki Ichigo on the head.

"Ow! Dammit, that hurt!"

"Let's talk when I care," Rukia snaps. Turning back to Byakuya, she offers an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, Nii-sama."

Despite that Kurosaki Ichigo's words confuse him, Byakuya just nods carefully. "Do not worry. Kurosaki Ichigo's many faults are not your own."

Rukia grins (Kurosaki Ichigo yells "What?!" in an outrage) and drops into a curtsy yet again.

"Anyway, Nii-sama, we're just here to drop something off before we leave." With that, she and Kurosaki Ichigo shove Renji forward. He stumbles, protesting, as the two of them turn and whirl out of the room together.

There's a silence, during which Renji stands crookedly, awkwardness in every pore of his skin, and Byakuya sits quietly, wondering how to handle the situation best.

"Will you be all right?" he finally says at length.

Renji chuckles. It's a dry, pained sound. "Yeah, well, one look at you and I'm completely sober, so yeah, I think I'll be fine."

Byakuya doesn't know how to respond to that. He's not entirely sure that was a compliment. "I apologize for my presence. Would you prefer I leave?" The words are laced with frost, because Byakuya is concerned and bewildered and he doesn't know how to react, really.

"Prefer you leave? If only," Renji snorts, a little derisively. "Personally, I'm just so damn sick of having to see you everyday."

It's utterly confusing, and Byakuya has no idea what Renji is trying to say.

"I do not understand what you mean," he says a little more icily than he intends, searching Renji's eyes for an answer. He almost gets lost in the swirling sea of hazel.

"Yeah, you wouldn't," Renji agrees. Not unkindly, really, just somewhat...  _darkly_ , is how Byakuya would describe it. "You wouldn't understand what it's like to see you, Kuchiki Byakuya. See how you've got the whole ice queen thing down. See your stupid noble ass looking down on the rest of us pathetic peasants. See you looking straight through everyone." 

Renji choses that moment to look up and meets Byakuya's gaze, and it's smoldering and burning and  _passion_. "See you trying not to laugh when I make some offhand comment. See you surrounded by thousands of cherry petals, swirling and glittering,knowing they're a manifestation of your soul. See you be completely  _flawless_  and so goddamn  _beautiful_  and know there's absolutely no way you'd ever even  _look_  at me, even when you give me false hope about me being  _special_  to you. You don't  _understand_ , Captain."

For the first time in a long time, Byakuya is speechless. He stares at his lieutenant, feeling blood thunder past his ears and his heart stutter out a breathless rhythm.

Renji just looks back at him. There's something indescribable in his eyes, something deep and soul-reaching, almost, and then Renji lets out a soft little sigh. His lips curl in a sharp, starkly sad smile. "Maybe I'm still drunk, actually," he mutters, quietly. "What the hell am I saying?"

Byakuya sits.

A bark of laughter. "Well, I'm going to get the hell out of here before you kick my ass. Thanks for the company, Captain. I'll get out of your hair now."

Renji is halfway to the door with a flick of vibrant hair and the scent of cheap sake before Byakuya manages to unglue his tongue and say, quietly, "Do you know what you have just admitted?"

"That I'm a completely stupid idiot who doesn't know his place and should probably file a request for division transfer?" Renji bites out. "I'll do that tomorrow morning -"

"You have admitted that you harbor some sort of romantic feelings for me."

The lieutenant scowls, gritting his teeth. "Oh, yeah, thanks, Captain, it isn't as if I already knew that -"

"As such, I expect you will take responsibility."

Renji is in absolutely no mood for Byakuya's fancy words. With a growl, he whips around, prepared to snap at his captain -

\- and he's suddenly tasting tea, good, fine tea, maybe jasmine or green, completely different from the barley-tinged hot water that has passed as tea for most of Renji's life.

Byakuya doesn't kiss as Renji expects. Ever since he's started wondering what Byakuya's lips would feel like, he's always kind of assumed that his captain would kiss calmly, politely, emotionlessly.

He does not.

Byakuya kisses like a drowning man, feverish and desperate and needy, as if he is sinking and this will save him. He kisses as this is the last thing anchoring him to this world, and he does it so well that Renji's knees are trembling.

For Byakuya, Renji tastes forbidden, like a sip of rice wine stolen as a child or the last piece of taiyaki when nobody's watching. It's exquisite and complicated and tastes like cheap sake, and he finds himself wanting more. And so he  _takes_  more, humming into Renji's mouth when Renji reciprocates. Somehow, he doesn't want this moment to end.

He almost smiles at that. And  _Renji_  was supposed to be the uncontrollable, insatiable one.

They break apart when Renji goes so far as to nip Byakuya's lip, and it feels so unexpectedly good that Byakuya actually jumps, falling back a few inches. Their lips part with an obscene thread of saliva bridging the space between them.

Renji is staring at him, eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "Captain," he says, low and questioning, and Byakuya actually goes pink at the single word. He hates his lack of control for a second.

"Yes, Abarai?" he manages somehow.

"By that, do you mean what I think you mean?"

"I do not know what you think, Abarai," Byakuya states firmly - but softly, and he sees Renji's eyebrows fall a little as he smiles.

"That's okay, Captain," he says, and kneels in front of Byakuya so suddenly that Byakuya backpedals in surprise. He curses internally. His guard is down.

Renji lifts his eyes - warm, smirking eyes - and reaches for Byakuya's hand. He presses his lips lightly against the back, and a shudder scurries up Byakuya's spine. "I'll take responsibility, then, Captain."

Byakuya is stunned into silence for a second before he drags his hand out of Renji's grasp, ignoring the flash of horror in his eyes, and gently picks up the man's arm. As Renji's eyes widen, Byakuya leads him to his feet, tilting his head back to look him in the face once Renji is standing.

"Never kneel to me," he whispers, and Renji's gratefulness is tangible on his lips as they press against Byakuya's.

**Author's Note:**

> First (lame) attempt in the Bleach fandom. Hope I didn't screw up too badly...?
> 
> Also, in case you didn't notice, the title of the fic is the translation of "Sen no Yoru wo Koete." For the obvious reason of the concept cover being fabulous.
> 
> Anyway, I apologize for any mistakes I might have missed. Hopefully they didn't impede your reading.


End file.
